5 Things You Can Do To Improve Sexual Insecurities
For some reason our society has allowed the sexual relationship to develop into some type of competition. The pressure we have placed on each other in general is overwhelming and completely unnecessary. Men spend entirely too much time wishing they had a longer penis when the truth is a higher percentage of women don’t care how long it is, but how thick. Many women fear they will fail to provide the explosive orgasm that will boost their men’s ego. The sexual relationship has come down to performance. Too many people think they are auditioning for the sexual Olympics and that there are certain requirements they have to meet in order to be selected.
This type of pressure breeds insecurity at an increasingly disturbing level. Men want to perform like porn stars and too many women feel they are obligated to join in that fantasy when studies have shown that not all woman want a man that is going to go on for hours. Of course this does not suggest that every couple falls into this category because as we know we are all different. Some enjoy it hard and fast, while others crave it gently and slow. The point is we need to tear down and eliminate performance issues. We need to get back to simply enjoying the benefits of a sexual relationship with someone we are attracted to. Here are 5 things you can do to improve sexual insecurities.
5. Masturbation – An oldie, but a goodie. Masturbating is the most commonly performed activity in the world that no one wants to talk about. Many don’t want to admit that they do it, but most do; or at least should. This activity has been going on since the first women brushed her fingers across her clitoris and the first man grabbed his penis and shook it too many times after urination. What many do not realize is that masturbation shows us how we like to be touched. This opens the door for us to tell our partners what we like. It has also been suggested that regular masturbation keeps our private parts tuned for action.
4. Stop Performing – Take the performance out of the sexual act and simply enjoy having sex. Women should not have to consider faking an orgasm to boost their men’s ego and men should not feel obligated to last for hours. The sexual act between two people should be transparant and relaxing. Remove the barriers that only cloud reality in the bedroom. Make it a point to discuss what makes each other feel good and then do it. You will find yourself getting more out of the sexual relationship and feeling less insecure.
3. Foreplay – Enough cannot be said about foreplay in the sexual relationship. Way too much emphasis is placed on rushing into intercourse and reaching for the stars. Sex should not be a rushed moment in the heat of passion. Every second should be treasured because you are engaged in intimacy with someone you obviously are willing to share bodily juices with. What makes the difference if the women has multiple orgasms while you perform a finger massage on her clitoris, perform oral sex, or use a sex toy? The important thing is that she is being pleasured. As a man if you pleasure her completely during foreplay, intercourse would simply be icing on the cake. Play to your strengths and you will improve your sexual insecurity.
2. Practice – Both in the couple should pursue sex as often as they both feel comfortable. The more you engage in sex with your partner the better you should get at it. Really focus on the things you can do to please your mate, but again only do what is comfortable for both. Look for ways to keep the sex exciting because it is so easy to fall into the same routine. One of the most important things you can do to eliminate sexual insecurity is feel comfortable with who you are and what you can do for your lover. Therefore, put into the sexual relationship what you want to get out of it.
1. Self Esteem – It has often been said that self-esteem plays the most significant role in sexual insecurity. If we don’t feel good about ourselves then we are fighting an uphill battle from the start. If you can remove the sexual performance issues and keep the sexual relationship fresh and exciting you are off and running, but you must feel good about yourself as well. If your low self-esteem is due to your weight or appearance than dedicate yourself to altering the issue. Have your partner support you in a fun diet and exercise program you both can do together. Your partner should love you for who you are, but if it is you that you are trying to please than devote yourself into making it happen.
Final Note
Sex is just one part of the relationship, but we have placed so much emphasis on it that we feel obligated to live up to certain standards. We need to eliminate those road blocks in the sexual relationship and feel more secure about who we really are. The essential element here is that we work hard to communicate and please our partners to the best of our ability and that we never give up. Don’t wish for the impossible, don’t try to be someone you are not. Be yourself, but do take the measures you can to feel better about yourself during and after sex.